Emily Racette Virtual Services

Heart 2 Help Circle: Post 21

The Timeline Myth: Why Your Grief Doesn't Follow Instructions

The world loves a neat narrative. We expect a beginning, a middle, and a resolution. When it comes to grief, we internalize a certain script put on by society that says, "After X amount of time, you should be better." But if you’re living through loss, you know this script is a bold lie. There is no timeline for missing someone.

Your grief doesn't follow instructions because your love doesn't have an expiration date. People will tell you it gets easier, and maybe it does, but not in the way they think. It doesn't get easier because the pain goes away; it gets easier because you get stronger at standing inside it. The loss doesn't shrink; you grow around it. The ache changes shape - the sharpness may dull a little, but the love? That type of love and connection never leaves.

When you're told to "move on," what you're really being asked to do is forget, or at least compartmentalize, a piece of your history - a piece of your heart and soul. That was never the goal. The goal is not to get over it; it's to get through it, around it, and with it. You are building a new life that can hold both the devastating pain and the enduring beauty of what you shared. You’re not failing for still feeling the weight; you are simply remembering, loving and taking small steps forward - and that is the most resilient thing a grieving heart can do.

If you haven't already joined our safe space, we’re waiting for you. Click the link below to join the Heart 2 Help Circle, where your grief is genuinely seen and understood.

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